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Contact Person: Callum S Ansell
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P: (02) 8252 5319

WILD KEY CAPITAL

22 Guild Street, NW8 2UP,
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Contact Person: Matilda O Dunn
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P: 070 8652 7276

LECHMERE CAPITAL

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Contact Person: Thorsten S Kohl
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P: 030 62 91 92

RECLAIMING RESPONSIBILITY “How Men can move from breakdown to BREAKTHROUGH” by By Kenneth Turner

Articles, Current Issue

When I was a child, my parents took honesty very seriously.  A line of questioning about a particular incident between my sister and I was immediately followed up with, “…and don’t lie!” 

The pressure was on, as I now had two choices:  One, tell the absolute truth and face the punishment—and lecture for it, or two—come up with an elaborate story about the circumstances, facts and details of everything that led to the incident in question, while never truly admitting my OWN wrongdoing. 

You see, I figured my punishment could be less with more understanding and sympathy.  It was there that I set a dangerous precedence:  I knew I did not want to face the responsibility and endure the punishment of my own actions.

How many of us men find ourselves in similar situations with our current relationships?  If we were to poll our wives, girlfriends, family and friends, how many of them would check the box marked, “unwilling to acknowledge or admit wrong” or “easily distracted” and even, “frequently makes excuses”

Let’s dig deeper.  Who among us are willing to raise our hands to admit to any of the following statements?

  • I struggle with not acknowledging when I am wrong.
  • I easily fall prey to distraction from my relationship or from responsibility in general.
  • I make excuses for what I cannot or will not do.

Okay, I get it.  Some of you, who are reading this article, probably wouldn’t want to admit to any of those difficult realizations.  Hey, I didn’t either.  I have learned to stand alone with an issue, so I am okay with you not raising your hand to join me.  By the way, I do see your people behind you pointing and gesturing, so I will move on.  Consider the following equation:

NOT acknowledging responsibility + distraction + excuses = NO ACTION (LACK)

Look at the end of the equation and where it leads.  Notice how lack is multiplied in the result of inactivity.

My life had begun to mirror everything about the equation.  From my childhood and well into my own adult life, the most difficult question I have had to ask myself was this: 

At what point do I stop living in the façade?  Why do I lie to myself, manipulate, sleep through, and disconnect myself from the great life God has given me, yet I want others to believe that I “have it all together”?

Along the way of seeking answers to this question, I came across this lesson that I am still in the process of learning:

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

Martin Luther King Jr., Strength to Love, 1963

Dr. King’s words teach us a valuable truth about manhood.  Our commitment to integrity and self-improvement must be real and authentic.  It is who we choose to be when it is not popular, convenient, or when others cannot see, that truly matters.  We cannot and should never resist the breaking process.  I believe that a broken place is a good place. It is where God can bring clarity, speak to us without hindrance and ultimately use us for His glory.

Now, let’s revisit the equation:

Acknowledging responsibility + focus – excuses = ACTION (PRODUCTIVITY)

Our action is now multiplied by PRODUCTIVITY, leading us to be the great husbands, fathers, boyfriends and brothers we are meant to be.  As for me, I have chosen to run straight into the fear and vulnerability that comes along the path to true authenticity.  I believe that greatness is woven into my being—and yours.

Kenneth Turner is a writer and worship leader who lives in southwest Texas.

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